BEAUTY,BRAINS,BENJAMINS,BUTTERED …. BUT BATTERED !

NNEKA! beautiful ! that should be the meaning of her name ! sophisticated yet simple, elegant yet humble …. no better words to describe Nneka. she is a computer engineer …. should see the way she handles those machines … with the ” gentility”a man touches his bride ….
I met Nneka in a full gospel church , she is married to this handsome hunk of masculinity i will call nu-nu for obvious reasons( remember teletubbies’ naughty nu-nu ?) nu-nu is a successful business magnate , influential man in the society …. u know the kinda dude that everybody loves. can anyone “have it all?”Nneka seemed to …. beauty,brains,”benjamins”, bobo and butter …. everyone admired them . you should see them at church …. if the Lord needed a brother from another mother … it should be nu-nu … u know what i mean.
what of in public places ? LOVE DON FINISH ! for “we ladies” , nu-nu just walked out of the pages of Mills and Boons ! he opens doors for her , never seats unless she is seated , smiles at her and lovingly touches her …AT THE RIGHT TIME …. and yea i agree , that kind of guy is not born o … he only walks out of the pages of romantic novels !!LOL!
At home however , away from our prying eyes , nu-nu reveals other interesting characteristics of his , on the outside Nneka is “buttered”but at home she is ….. wait for it …. battered ! ( i wonder if there is anyway one can write words in “whispers”)
she had been married for 9 years before she summed up the courage to tell me . WHAT ! i screamed ? broda … nu-nu ?
now i must come clean here . i felt shocked at first , then anger , ermmm ok ok ,then a bit of rage …  i thot of many imprint-able things i would love to do to him …. by the way i asked God to forgive me…. so there !!!!
DID YOU NOT SEE THE” MENE MENE “WHILE COURTING ? ( the writing on the wall is what i mean ) surely he must have shown some signs(check am sista check am !) but then u know what they say LOVE IS BLIND … BUT MARRIAGE WILL HEAL THOSE EYES !LOL!!TALK ABOUT BEAUTY AND THE BEAST !
WHAT WILL MAKE A MAN BEAT UP HIS BABE ? i remember my dad had a friend who used to beat up his wife . one day , they came visiting and my dad said to him “YOU MUST HAVE TWO OTHER HANDS HIDDEN SOMEWHERE ” the guy looked surprised and confused. Then my dad continued “SURELY IT CANT BE THE HANDS YOU USE TO BATTER HER THAT YOU USE TO CARESS HER ALSO!”
Nneka and naughty nu-nu are blessed with 3 lovely children and these children have witnessed the battering at one time or the other , which leads me to my second question :
WHAT KIND OF MAN WILL BEAT HIS BABE IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS SEED ?
i finally summed up enough courage to see nu-nu at a session … it was a battle for me … i was looking to refer them to someone else because i felt my better judgement could be tainted…but he insisted he will only talk to me . his excuse …. it’s because i cant control myself when i am annoyed ! BULL SHIT !( ehn ehn before u start sending message to my inbox that i cussed , just think of COW DUNG ( same thing ! hehe).
That is why man is NOT like a  beast … beasts don”t have control … that is allowed …there was news about a  70 something year old man that was mauled by his tiger … that is in place …. not MAN!
CANT CONTROL KE ?yea I cant control my bowels sometimes  but ” It don’t mean ” that I can release fountains no matter how pressed I am !
THE FUNNY THING ABOUT TEMPER IS THAT YOU CANT GET RID OF IT BY LOSING IT !LOL!
On a serious note though, the truth about beating up ur spouse is that the first time is the most difficult , after the first it gets easier and easier …… if you are one of those … and you may even have or think u have better reasons for doing it , i suggest u go for counseling , prayers, anger management classes , etc! of course this will be after YOU realize you need to do something about it ….
granted , genes play a role in our temperaments but like they say, temperamental is 90% temper and 10% mental!!!!God made man to be in Control so you should be in Control of your emotions …
“you don’t know how annoying she can be , she makes me get angry “…. THE GREATEST REMEDY 4 ANGER IS DELAY ! the good book says in proverbs 19:11 A WISE MAN RESTRAINS HIS ANGER AND OVERLOOKS INSULTS. THIS IS TO HIS CREDIT !
It will interest you to know that a lot of children who have problems in school and when i say problems , i mean theft , bullying , disobedience etc , usually come from homes where the mother or father is battered …. errr yes ! SOME WOMEN BEAT UP THEIR HUSBANDS ….. THAT ONE NA YARN FOR ANOTHER DAY !

THINGS I WILL LIKE TO DO BEFORE THE BIG FIVE-O

Photo on 14-05-2016 at 10.10 #3Honestly , this life is SHORT …no matter how long we live. the reason is TIME…it never moves at your pace . very unkind jogging partner …hehe..

I vividly remember attending an Aunty’s 40th birthday bash. imagine , i was feeling sorry for her , because i thought to myself that 40 means that death aint too far away…. and see o, i am now way past 40! i mean it was just yesterday when i attended that parry… or wasn’t it ?

Yesterday , I was at boarding house at Capital School, Kaduna, i was only 7 years old.

Yesterday , i was at the Federal Government College, Kaduna , it was just yesterday that we had those parties in the dining hall.

It was yesterday that i got married , wasn’t it yesterday that the Lord God blessed  me with a beautiful daughter and a set of fineeee twin boys ???? wasn’t it ? Where did all the time go ?

Here I am staring at the big five-o in a few , WOW…WHERE DID YESTERDAY GO ???

hmmmmm life indeed  is short , that is the truth …and i am thinking already , what do I need to do before that age which i hope to attain soon, God Willing ( and He willing ooo)??

I will like to take Acting more seriously , I want to write books on experiences in life and from counseling others . And Yes , i hope to see my project, “Iyaniwura” partner with some Organizations, distributing sandals to rural primary school children.

I will also like to visit more places… i have become “home made” , so distant from my Nature …i must travel around more .

Finally , i hope to be on air (radio), nothing fancy just 5 minutes daily of auntyB’s recommended prescriptions….LOL…its Gud to talk & LAUGH.

Life is SHORT , no matter how long it is , and there is just that ONE opportunity at this journey called life …LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH.. LIFE IS GUD !

E-STALKING

Photo on 06-02-2016 at 13.58 #2my mind goes way back to the days of the “village headmaster ” episodes. One of my favorite characters is ” Amebo” , she was an expert in her trade ! she could pass off as the ” News reporter ” of the village . she just had her kicks from “poking her nose ” into others’ business. she was ” Nacho” about it …..

If you take your mind way back too, you will remember this ” peculiar personality type” at school,family , office , neighborhood, places of worship … in our days they were known .

Ameboism has evolved through the years and is now multifaceted . an arm of ameboism is stalking … sometimes this is “safe” and often times dangerous. we hear of stalkers who have ended become murderers or have messed up the mind of the stalked so much so that even series of therapy has done no magic of restoration.

The past decade has seen an “explosion ” with regards to technology . the social media is a web of information . people take selfies of everything they do , the food they eat , the clothes they hope to wear the next day , if ” i don get alert ” , even the new car gets a selfie !!!

Doubtless, people do this because the are happy and want to share their happiness with friends , whether this is right or wrong is not the issue of concern here.

HOWEVER … despite the privacy buttons , we sometimes forget that there are a number of sick people who have laptops, phones , computers, ipods , ipads and understand technology …they are officially called E-stalkers …they stalk to retrieve information and there is no telling the damage they can do .

There are also these people who just hate ur guts ! nothing you can do about that either ….green with envy … they check your posts and pictures , basically to find out if you are happy and why !it is for this reason that we do with do ….if not can you imagine how BORING their lives will be without this “job”? hehehe , just kidding !

But seriously you need to click on the Privacy link and review, not everything should be exposed to those who are not ur FB friends ….if u are an E-stalker , reading this, seriously i advice that you see a psychologist first , just to make sure everything is okay …mental illness, like physical illness needs the help of an expert in other to begin the healing process… E-Stalking is a sign of a mental situation , it can be corrected …find help, today !

WHEN THE JUDGE IS THE JURY

 

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Evaluation is an intrinsic part of the human mind . Just as we are designed to make choices, we also make assumptions and often times jump to wrong conclusions. This is no fault of ours , but then again it very well is . We jump into conclusions , based on assumptions which are products of information. the issue of concern here is that we are all “partly ” informed on any situation and our judgements are usually skewed .

Have you ever said to yourself that you wont “greet” someone in your office because you greeted him some days back and he didn’t answer ? okay he didn’t answer but what if he didn’t hear you ? what if he was deep in thought ? what if he just received bad news ? when we are judge and jury , we try the case in our minds and sentence the individual(s) in question .

many years ago, i was a member of a particular church . I attended service regularly . one of those days , i noticed these 2 ladies sitting together , wearing “dark shades”. I stared at them in shock  and was quite distracted during service. The next time i found myself looking for them , and on sighting those shades again i began to get angry …what is it ? why sunglasses in the building ? ah ah ?which kain swag be this ?

the jury in my mind said these must be pompous ladies, they think they are all that …they are guilty of pride and haughtiness . The judge in my mind sentenced them to “silence  and rage ” .

A few months down the line , i got to hear from another source , the real reason for the “dark shades” , one of them was involved in a ghastly motor accident that scared her face , and needed to wear shades to cover it , she was too embarrassed to come to church because of bigots( actually idiots ) like me , who were willing to judge her at an instant . So her friend offered to sit next to her , wearing the same , just so she can come to church !

okay i know what u will say …”how the hell was I supposed to know that ?” . ehnn..that is why u shouldn’t be too quick to judge , because chances are that you do not know the whole story ….besides doesn’t the holy book say “judge not , let God be the judge ?” . That is probably why !

like i said earlier, our ability to make choices is also a characteristic of being human..so from this moment , choose not to be the judge and jury …trust me you don’t know the whole story !

FIRM FOUNDATIONS

IMG_0641Today’s blog is about what I consider a very serious issue of concern . We are aware , i believe of the sudden economic developments that have taken place in the cosmetic industry .. According to Wikipedia, Foundation is a “SKIN COLORED ” makeup applied to the face to create an even , uniform color to the complexion, to cover flaws and sometimes change the natural skin-tone.

The concept is as old as history itself . The Egyptians were users of foundation and so were the ancient Greek women . The use of Foundation is therefore not new to this generation.

There are experts in basically every field of life . and people earn the name expert because they are learned in that particular field. In other words there are many things that they know that the ordinary individual may not even be aware of .

Makeup Artists are trained , they are experts ( ehnn not all of them sha !) in this field. First of, I do not think it is wise that anyone goes on to select foundation without tapping from the knowledge of these experts .

OK so what brought this on ? I had to be in an Office to sort out some issues concerning certain documents . There was no Light, nothing new …na 9ja we dey…the office was dark and stuffy …but she caught my eye in an instant ….. the foundation tho….hian . SHE DID NOT HAVE A FIRM FOUNDATION.

Abeg, if you work in a Company or and Institution that depends solely on NEPA….do NOT wear foundation to work…Chaii..it was all so sticky and “running”…it reminded me of the walls of my great grandmother’s hut, way back then. Before the day ends your FOUNDATION WILL BE (RE)MOVED…AND IF THE FOUNDATION BE (RE)MOVED…ABEG WHAT CAN THE RIGHTEOUS DO……Gud to talk!

LET THE PARRY BEGIN …AuntyB’s thoughts on the 23rd Psalm

IMG_0244 2Just a thought that came to mind earlier on today …. The Psalmist says ” he prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies “.. In today’s language it will be ( in jenifa’s voice ) ” he throws me a parry and invites my henemiezz”
Soooooo u have been praying for years , that ur enemies , your “troublers ” die by faya ,by thunda,by force “. But they don’t die …(at least not yet ?)… Don’t get it twisted , the ” events manager ” …is ” purring up your parry “… And u are NOT going to mess up his ” Invites”… So, when they arrive , abeg no begin shout say ” whor ra you doing in my parry?” … Shut ur mouth up and sit ur butt down as He anoints you with oil “…. hmmmmm , ” let the parry begin…yurlzzz!

LIFE IS A PROCESS

PROCESSING .. Not a big word but it can change lives and destinies .. It can be long , arduous, painful even terrifying.. U might even have EVERY reason to quit , as u undergo it ..BUT if u can ENDURE ( and u can , really ),u will come out as ” fine gold” , as ” pure diamond ” .. PROCESSING is the difference between Iya Sikira’s pot of delisciousssssss pomo and a Louis Vuitton hand bag .. We must let the Refiner’s Fire work in us.. He makes our lives so beautiful

WE CAME WITH NOTHING , WE WILL LEAVE LIKEWISE

Time flies there is no doubt about that … amazing how i see pictures of my primary school class mates on social media and think ” wow! that old ?” as i stare at the wrinkles and grey hair …but i forget that  makeup and highlights on my hair do wonders  …hehe.. somewhere in my mind i am still 21 …please dont ask me “qweshun”… I mean not too long ago , i attended an aunty’s 40th birthday party and i remember thinking to myself that ” her time is running out ” , and here i am …wow !

Life is fleeting and i guess it is only natural at this stage in my life , to seek explanations to the meaning of life . Somehow , we seem to have gotten many things wrong .

have you noticed that stress becomes one of your closest pals in life from birth ? the stress of feeding , getting diapers changed , jabs that you don’t understand ,sitting , crawling , oh and the major stress of walking …. going to school , going to secondary and probably boarding school, understanding who you are , the stress of WASCE , then just when you think its over , you are introduced to big brother stress, the university …tutorials, assignments , projects , deadlines …phewwww! You finally graduate and more stress , you start seeking employment ….there is no end to it . A good day in Lagos traffic pretty sums up the life we live .

This is why i cant understand how we want to add stress to an already stressful world. How can you think that you can connive with people at your work place and embezzle hundreds of millions of tax payers money, for instance and it will be well with you ?

so you accumulate millions of dollars in your account , buy houses in the choicest places in the world , buy cars , clothes , shoes and jewellery but on the day of Death’s visit , you depart without taking even a farthing of your earnings whether legally or illegally acquired.

Mother Theresa said riches should be quantified by how much we have stored in our hearts and not our bank accounts .

Alexander the Great was a famous , powerful and rich Greek King of Macedon. His Final wishes about his funeral were that:

1) His physician should bring his Coffin home alone.

2) His gold, silver and precious stones be scattered along the path to his tomb

3)His hands should hang outside the Coffin during the funeral procession .

He said he wanted his people to understand the three lessons in life that he had learned .

1) A physician cannot really cure people’s illnesses, in the face of Death , they are powerless.

2) The people should not imitate him as he spent the better part of his life storing treasure for himself . There is more to life that accumulating wealth , he said

3) we came to this world in empty hands and we will leave also in empty hands .

How true ! so if we leave with nothing , why do we accumulate so much wealth at the expense of all other things ?

2016…A new year , new changes ….Let us think about what matters in life the most …  Blessings always !