My addiction to Coca Cola is almost as old as I am .. My mother was a distributor and I was an expert at .. Errmmmm well , let’s just say padding ?. Till date she does not know the number of missing bottles whose content found their way to my gut ?. As a teenager I Thot that I am the Gee … Smart Alec .. I was downing an average of 7 bottles a day …BTW, Carbonated drinks according to science kinda deplete calcium from the bones ?.. So 4 decades down the line .. Parts of my frame are trying to ” serve retirement notices “?.. At what age nitori Olohun ? Isn’t that life tho ? U sow terrible seed , in ur relationship with others , your diet , lifestyle , work , spiritual life etc and think u have escaped cos ” nobody knows ” .. Cos there are no immediate consequences …Then harvest comes ( and it must come )?.. Abi if u sow won’t u reap ? The good book says as long as the earth exists , seed time and harvest time will not cease … Even if nobody sees , The law of sowing and reaping is as old and potent as the law of gravity …. ” karma” is a bitch o ?.. Okay not much u can do about the seeds u have sown in the past … But now that u know … Be careful what u sow .. P.S. There is nothing like secret sin .. Satan always makes sure about that … Do not sow what u don’t wanna reap … ( as I reach over for NSAID and calcium tablets ?
For the life of me I don’t understand why all dis noise about “don’t do MMM , SSS , Bitcoin .. XYZ orisirisi Ponzi schemes ..?? why the noise now ? ?I remember way back when , I was with an aunt and her son . Me must have been 21 ( just as I am now ?) then . There was no light and the candle at the corner was all the light in the room . Bobo kept going towards the candle and me , I kept chasing him away . I was really getting irritated buh what was I supposed to do ? Watch him roast his fingers? ?. So my aunt said ” leave him ” ? leave him ke ? Tor no be me get pikin so I left him , tho I knew what wud happen next ; what I found shocking is that my Aunty knew too ?. Bobo let out a terrifying scream .. Not only had the flame touched his fingers , the candle wax had done automatic gumbodi on him … Oh he cried , my aunt got up and put cold ogi etc etc ?. I was angry .. Why is she so mean ???this is just a child ! She told me I am teaching him a lesson that he won’t forget . I still vex sha .Buh guess what ? The next day there was no light ,my aunt lit the candle and Bobo stayed away .. Very far sef … Never again … Bobo learned a lesson that no one could have taught him . So pls Kontinu , don’t mind anybody ojare .. Carry go ?????.
??May Jehovah deliver us from the jagbajantis coming out of the music industry these days ! I was jejely minding my business in the mall , when this dude walks up to me selling his CD … Told me a bit about his hustles ….I thot lemme epp him , took one and gave him some money .he was very grateful and scurried off … ? if I see him again I wee download koboko on his head ?? hustle ke ? Muzzle leleyi …??soooo I pick up my pen and put words together :
2017 ah be slayin’
Mah henemiezz , yeeee dey be crying ‘
Baba , I pray dey be Savin ‘
Or nigbeyin won ma be fryin ‘
Emi ti mo
Mi o wa aiye Iya
Ba’ami ota ole so mi di suya ………( with my “eyin Omo wobe “voice )
Watching the Fulani man’s cows grazing , u will notice how quickly they nibble on grass … After grazing , they find a place to ” regurgitate ” what they have chopped and ruminate ( Google am ! More informative than Hollywood gossip ?)That is they eat slowly this time . Rumination and meditation must be first cousins ?Acts 17:11 Now the Berean Jews were more receptive than those in Thessalonica . They were willing to receive the message and every day they carefully examined the scriptures to see if these things were so . Berea and Thessalonica according to history were places in Greece .. U can’t separate the Greek from education ! They sought knowledge , these bereans , they heard what Paul said , and since he referred to scripture, they went back home to EXAMINE ( ruminate like the Fulani man’s cows )
Sooooo now u go to church , preacher man preaches , u take all he said , put ur yessssamen on it , swallow eferytin ” hook , line , sinker , preacher man and his pulpit “and head home . No questions , no thinking on what u just heard , def no opening of scripture to examine … Mba .. “Papa , mama , Father or GO said it ” finish ! … ?Just like the Thessalonians… EDUCATION…aka use ya sensi ?… 2017 is a good year to leave “Thessalonica ” and camp in ” Berea” … Become a student of the scriptures…In his light , may we see LIGHT ..Hmmm Amin e po ?
The amazing thing about a new day , month , year , season , is the opportunity to do it different . Okayy so , you made promises to God and ur conscience , to be closer , more disciplined , “holier” . But 2 days to the end of 2016 , u might have to agree with me that in my strength I achieved very little . It’s funny that I have been trying this method every year since the early 80’s … ?wetin dem talk about pessin wey dey do the same tin expecting different results ? ?. KOLEWERK … ? another year approaches , I will do it different . I will do it the way the WORD says .. Come as you are !! And I add my words ” Bullshit and all ” ? . He is not asking you to please him without him , remember the Holy Spirit ” HELPS ” , why would he send help if we didn’t need help ? SUBMIT urself to the word … So that’s how I will do it . I will work out my salvation with fear and trembling.. FOR IT IS GOD THAT WORKS in you , so that u can be willing and doing what pleases him .Phil 2:12??… … Maybe u have been tryna work it for just a few years , ? bro take it from a pro , KOLEWERK …. He has to do the work , ur only work is to submit to him … We are all “work in progress ” … But don’t let ur case be like lagos-ibadan expressway oo ?, don’t cause traffic on the way to heaven because u won’t gbara duro ?… May we experience amazing grace and mercy in the new year , so that we don’t become ” abandoned project ” . Amen !
NNEKA! beautiful ! that should be the meaning of her name ! sophisticated yet simple, elegant yet humble …. no better words to describe Nneka. she is a computer engineer …. should see the way she handles those machines … with the ” gentility”a man touches his bride ….
I met Nneka in a full gospel church , she is married to this handsome hunk of masculinity i will call nu-nu for obvious reasons( remember teletubbies’ naughty nu-nu ?) nu-nu is a successful business magnate , influential man in the society …. u know the kinda dude that everybody loves. can anyone “have it all?”Nneka seemed to …. beauty,brains,”benjamins”, bobo and butter …. everyone admired them . you should see them at church …. if the Lord needed a brother from another mother … it should be nu-nu … u know what i mean.
what of in public places ? LOVE DON FINISH ! for “we ladies” , nu-nu just walked out of the pages of Mills and Boons ! he opens doors for her , never seats unless she is seated , smiles at her and lovingly touches her …AT THE RIGHT TIME …. and yea i agree , that kind of guy is not born o … he only walks out of the pages of romantic novels !!LOL!
At home however , away from our prying eyes , nu-nu reveals other interesting characteristics of his , on the outside Nneka is “buttered”but at home she is ….. wait for it …. battered ! ( i wonder if there is anyway one can write words in “whispers”)
she had been married for 9 years before she summed up the courage to tell me . WHAT ! i screamed ? broda … nu-nu ?
now i must come clean here . i felt shocked at first , then anger , ermmm ok ok ,then a bit of rage … i thot of many imprint-able things i would love to do to him …. by the way i asked God to forgive me…. so there !!!!
DID YOU NOT SEE THE” MENE MENE “WHILE COURTING ? ( the writing on the wall is what i mean ) surely he must have shown some signs(check am sista check am !) but then u know what they say LOVE IS BLIND … BUT MARRIAGE WILL HEAL THOSE EYES !LOL!!TALK ABOUT BEAUTY AND THE BEAST !
WHAT WILL MAKE A MAN BEAT UP HIS BABE ? i remember my dad had a friend who used to beat up his wife . one day , they came visiting and my dad said to him “YOU MUST HAVE TWO OTHER HANDS HIDDEN SOMEWHERE ” the guy looked surprised and confused. Then my dad continued “SURELY IT CANT BE THE HANDS YOU USE TO BATTER HER THAT YOU USE TO CARESS HER ALSO!”
Nneka and naughty nu-nu are blessed with 3 lovely children and these children have witnessed the battering at one time or the other , which leads me to my second question :
WHAT KIND OF MAN WILL BEAT HIS BABE IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS SEED ?
i finally summed up enough courage to see nu-nu at a session … it was a battle for me … i was looking to refer them to someone else because i felt my better judgement could be tainted…but he insisted he will only talk to me . his excuse …. it’s because i cant control myself when i am annoyed ! BULL SHIT !( ehn ehn before u start sending message to my inbox that i cussed , just think of COW DUNG ( same thing ! hehe).
That is why man is NOT like a beast … beasts don”t have control … that is allowed …there was news about a 70 something year old man that was mauled by his tiger … that is in place …. not MAN!
CANT CONTROL KE ?yea I cant control my bowels sometimes but ” It don’t mean ” that I can release fountains no matter how pressed I am !
THE FUNNY THING ABOUT TEMPER IS THAT YOU CANT GET RID OF IT BY LOSING IT !LOL!
On a serious note though, the truth about beating up ur spouse is that the first time is the most difficult , after the first it gets easier and easier …… if you are one of those … and you may even have or think u have better reasons for doing it , i suggest u go for counseling , prayers, anger management classes , etc! of course this will be after YOU realize you need to do something about it ….
granted , genes play a role in our temperaments but like they say, temperamental is 90% temper and 10% mental!!!!God made man to be in Control so you should be in Control of your emotions …
“you don’t know how annoying she can be , she makes me get angry “…. THE GREATEST REMEDY 4 ANGER IS DELAY ! the good book says in proverbs 19:11 A WISE MAN RESTRAINS HIS ANGER AND OVERLOOKS INSULTS. THIS IS TO HIS CREDIT !
It will interest you to know that a lot of children who have problems in school and when i say problems , i mean theft , bullying , disobedience etc , usually come from homes where the mother or father is battered …. errr yes ! SOME WOMEN BEAT UP THEIR HUSBANDS ….. THAT ONE NA YARN FOR ANOTHER DAY !
I vividly remember attending an Aunty’s 40th birthday bash. imagine , i was feeling sorry for her , because i thought to myself that 40 means that death aint too far away…. and see o, i am now way past 40! i mean it was just yesterday when i attended that parry… or wasn’t it ?
Yesterday , I was at boarding house at Capital School, Kaduna, i was only 7 years old.
Yesterday , i was at the Federal Government College, Kaduna , it was just yesterday that we had those parties in the dining hall.
It was yesterday that i got married , wasn’t it yesterday that the Lord God blessed me with a beautiful daughter and a set of fineeee twin boys ???? wasn’t it ? Where did all the time go ?
Here I am staring at the big five-o in a few , WOW…WHERE DID YESTERDAY GO ???
hmmmmm life indeed is short , that is the truth …and i am thinking already , what do I need to do before that age which i hope to attain soon, God Willing ( and He willing ooo)??
I will like to take Acting more seriously , I want to write books on experiences in life and from counseling others . And Yes , i hope to see my project, “Iyaniwura” partner with some Organizations, distributing sandals to rural primary school children.
I will also like to visit more places… i have become “home made” , so distant from my Nature …i must travel around more .
Finally , i hope to be on air (radio), nothing fancy just 5 minutes daily of auntyB’s recommended prescriptions….LOL…its Gud to talk & LAUGH.
Life is SHORT , no matter how long it is , and there is just that ONE opportunity at this journey called life …LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH.. LIFE IS GUD !
my mind goes way back to the days of the “village headmaster ” episodes. One of my favorite characters is ” Amebo” , she was an expert in her trade ! she could pass off as the ” News reporter ” of the village . she just had her kicks from “poking her nose ” into others’ business. she was ” Nacho” about it …..
If you take your mind way back too, you will remember this ” peculiar personality type” at school,family , office , neighborhood, places of worship … in our days they were known .
Ameboism has evolved through the years and is now multifaceted . an arm of ameboism is stalking … sometimes this is “safe” and often times dangerous. we hear of stalkers who have ended become murderers or have messed up the mind of the stalked so much so that even series of therapy has done no magic of restoration.
The past decade has seen an “explosion ” with regards to technology . the social media is a web of information . people take selfies of everything they do , the food they eat , the clothes they hope to wear the next day , if ” i don get alert ” , even the new car gets a selfie !!!
Doubtless, people do this because the are happy and want to share their happiness with friends , whether this is right or wrong is not the issue of concern here.
HOWEVER … despite the privacy buttons , we sometimes forget that there are a number of sick people who have laptops, phones , computers, ipods , ipads and understand technology …they are officially called E-stalkers …they stalk to retrieve information and there is no telling the damage they can do .
There are also these people who just hate ur guts ! nothing you can do about that either ….green with envy … they check your posts and pictures , basically to find out if you are happy and why !it is for this reason that we do with do ….if not can you imagine how BORING their lives will be without this “job”? hehehe , just kidding !
But seriously you need to click on the Privacy link and review, not everything should be exposed to those who are not ur FB friends ….if u are an E-stalker , reading this, seriously i advice that you see a psychologist first , just to make sure everything is okay …mental illness, like physical illness needs the help of an expert in other to begin the healing process… E-Stalking is a sign of a mental situation , it can be corrected …find help, today !
Evaluation is an intrinsic part of the human mind . Just as we are designed to make choices, we also make assumptions and often times jump to wrong conclusions. This is no fault of ours , but then again it very well is . We jump into conclusions , based on assumptions which are products of information. the issue of concern here is that we are all “partly ” informed on any situation and our judgements are usually skewed .
Have you ever said to yourself that you wont “greet” someone in your office because you greeted him some days back and he didn’t answer ? okay he didn’t answer but what if he didn’t hear you ? what if he was deep in thought ? what if he just received bad news ? when we are judge and jury , we try the case in our minds and sentence the individual(s) in question .
many years ago, i was a member of a particular church . I attended service regularly . one of those days , i noticed these 2 ladies sitting together , wearing “dark shades”. I stared at them in shock and was quite distracted during service. The next time i found myself looking for them , and on sighting those shades again i began to get angry …what is it ? why sunglasses in the building ? ah ah ?which kain swag be this ?
the jury in my mind said these must be pompous ladies, they think they are all that …they are guilty of pride and haughtiness . The judge in my mind sentenced them to “silence and rage ” .
A few months down the line , i got to hear from another source , the real reason for the “dark shades” , one of them was involved in a ghastly motor accident that scared her face , and needed to wear shades to cover it , she was too embarrassed to come to church because of bigots( actually idiots ) like me , who were willing to judge her at an instant . So her friend offered to sit next to her , wearing the same , just so she can come to church !
okay i know what u will say …”how the hell was I supposed to know that ?” . ehnn..that is why u shouldn’t be too quick to judge , because chances are that you do not know the whole story ….besides doesn’t the holy book say “judge not , let God be the judge ?” . That is probably why !
like i said earlier, our ability to make choices is also a characteristic of being human..so from this moment , choose not to be the judge and jury …trust me you don’t know the whole story !