Way before i took up studying about counseling children, there has always been some form of attraction . They find it easier to talk with me . Children have been talking to me for more than 25 years . One thing , though , at least 90% of kids that i have spoken with ,know their parents try hard to put up a “superman act “.
Due to the fear of failure , and you can understand the point of the parent , I am a parent too and i have walked that path , parents attempt different vices in other to make their children excel in school . We reward their success , and nothing wrong with that , promise them the moon if they excel….hmmm…or even threaten or bully them to excelling …. and when i say excel , i mean obtain ” straight A’s” , for some parents ,a B is mortal sin …
First of , experts will prove to us that the fact that a student obtains the Almighty A does not mean that education has taken place . We need to be focused here, why do we want our children educated ? Is it to keep up with “Joneses” ? To move up quickly in the ladder of success ? ( who doesnt want their kids to succeed ?) So that they can afford to send us on a cruise to the Bahamas in our old age?
The Human Capital theory informs us that humans like machines can increase productivity when investments are made , especially,in their education . So quite a number of us see investing in our children , in the area of education as a means of obtaining returns in the future , and in my opinion, rightly so ! No sane person will want to invest without the hope of making profit .
This drive can explain why every daddy , and some mummies “came first” from the labor room !Let’s pause and reflect here for a while….. I will have you know that some students work really hard , yet are not consistently A students . Oh yes, we live in highly competitive times and the system of “knowledge economy ” and ” globalisation ” is subtly turning our children to Robots , such that the average child is MISERABLE in school ! this ought not be !
Dear parent , often you become a stress factor to such children. They begin to feel stupid , some might consider cheating so as to please you . have you thought about that ?
Now , to create balance here, we must also not loose sight of the fact that average teenager does not know why they are in school ( BTW neither did most of us , although we seem to have “forgotten” that ..hehe) and so don’t see any reason to make an effort , we need to ” prop them up “, not by bullying them but encouraging them , even if it means setting up a REASONABLE reward system. I mean, just because your child makes a distinction in school , you decide to get him an Ipod,Iphone, Ipad …..are you sure that you are not setting him up for an ” Ifail”?
The safest conclusion is that you need to know your child as an individual , no two children are same. Know their abilities and their capabilities and encourage them to be the best . The best that they can be is all they need to be to fulfill their God given purpose. A child once asked me ” if all our parents came first in school, who came second ?” . and my reply was ” I don’t know, may be those that came second don’t have children yet… LOL …..You are his/her hero, dad, distinction or not !