All posts by Bo

WHO OWNS PAPA’S LAND?

The book of beginnings , that is what the Good Book calls it , has a wonderful creation story …In the beginning , God made the heaven’s and the earth . It then goes further to give a “line upon line ” detail of what was created , when and how….God said, and there was ….then it was day and night , the next day and God said …and there was ….finally , it tells us about the “Why”….   ” Let us make man in our image , after our likeness and let him have authority over all creation ” ..and He formed man from the dust ….hmmm….he made the land first , made other things and days later, made man.

It is appalling indeed, how often one reads in the papers about land disputes and the number of deaths recorded in the brawl. villages against villages and even brothers of the same parents against each other , over LAND.

when one thinks about it though, the land has been here long before we came into existence and the land will be here long after we expire . So war breaks out between two communities , over land , people are killed and have to be buried , they then add to the volume of the land …the land they were claiming ownership of ! how can we own what owns us ?

I am of the opinion that we do not OWN the land , but rather , OWE it …it’s a debt we must pay someday , sooner or later , we all have to go 6 feet under !

stop the communal clashes, family feuds over land….” all fight no be fight “…..pick your fights wisely

” DADDY DISTINCTION “

Way before i took up studying about counseling children, there has always been some form of attraction . They find it easier to talk with me . Children have been talking to me for more than 25 years . One thing , though , at least 90% of kids that i have spoken with ,know their parents try hard to put up a “superman act “.

Due to the fear of failure , and you can understand the point of the parent , I am a parent too and i have walked that path , parents attempt different vices in other to make their children excel in school . We reward their success , and nothing wrong with that , promise them the moon if they excel….hmmm…or even threaten or bully them to excelling …. and when i say excel , i mean obtain ” straight A’s” , for some parents ,a  B is mortal sin …

First of , experts will prove to us that the fact that a student obtains the Almighty A does not mean that education has taken place . We need to be focused here, why do we want our children educated ? Is it to keep up with “Joneses” ? To move up quickly in the ladder of success ? ( who doesnt want their kids to succeed ?) So that they can afford to send us on a cruise to the Bahamas in our old age?

The Human Capital theory informs us  that humans like machines can increase productivity when investments are made , especially,in their education . So quite a number of us see investing in our children , in the area of education as a means of obtaining returns in the future , and in my opinion, rightly so ! No sane person will want to invest without the hope of making profit .

This  drive can explain why every daddy , and some mummies  “came first” from the labor room !Let’s pause and reflect here for a while….. I will have you know that some students work really hard , yet are not consistently A students .  Oh yes, we live in highly competitive times and the system of “knowledge economy ” and ” globalisation ” is subtly turning our children to Robots , such that the average child is MISERABLE in school ! this ought not be !

Dear parent , often you become a stress factor to such children. They begin to feel stupid , some might consider cheating so as  to please you . have you thought about that ?

Now , to create balance here, we must also not loose sight of the fact that average teenager does not know why they are in school ( BTW neither did most of us , although we seem to have “forgotten” that ..hehe) and so don’t see any reason to make an effort , we need to ” prop them up “, not by bullying them but encouraging them , even if it means setting up a REASONABLE reward system. I mean, just because your child makes a distinction in school , you decide to get him an Ipod,Iphone, Ipad …..are you sure that you are not setting him up for an ” Ifail”?

The safest conclusion is that you need to know your child as an individual , no two children are same. Know their abilities and their capabilities and encourage them to be the best . The best that they can be is all they need to be to fulfill their God given purpose. A child once asked me ” if all our parents came first in school, who came second ?” . and my reply was ” I don’t know, may be those that came second don’t have children yet… LOL …..You are his/her hero, dad, distinction or not !

 

 

WE FALL DOWN, BUT WE GET UP !

I must have been about 11 years old then. It was on the Assembly ground , Monday morning assembly , where every “living thing ” on the school premises must converge to hear the Principal ” rant and rave “. As usual , he took way more than time allocated and we had to move quickly to get to class and save what we could of the time left for the first lesson.

I was still a junior student , but i was in year 2, you see, which means that there was a group of students who called me “senior “. I did not see it , obviously or i wouldn’t have tripped over it …..but I DID ….and I FELL DOWN….on the assembly ground , in the presence of my seniors and juniors . As a preteenager i just wanted to die , i could not bear the shame of standing up . So i did what any normal person would , I burst into tears ! I was pained . Not by the fall per se, but by the shame that accompanied the fall. Some friends came to help me up , others pretended that they didn’t see me and walked , that just made me feel more pain . And there were those who mocked , you would have thought that “THEY HAD NEVER FALLEN BEFORE “!!!!

Our walk with the Lord can indeed be best described as in John Buchanan’s “pilgrims progress’. it comes with diverse seasons, terrains and circumstances. The truth is that there will always be times in our lives when we “fall “. This happens to all of us , you are not an exception , and yes you will feel ashamed , like you just want to be dead ….the truth is you are NOT …that is why you feel the pain . There will be friends who will try to help you up, stretch out your hands towards them …its ok, you need that extra push to get you back on your feet. and yes you will be shocked by those who will walk away …it does not matter though. its at times like this that you know whose got your back, don’t hold a grudge , no human on earth is worth that stress !! . let them talk , let them gossip and judge , what is important is that YOU FELL DOWN BUT YOU GOT RIGHT UP …..the journey is still long …just keep walking .. May the Grace of the Almighty wrap itself around you like a warm blanket on a cold,dusty and windy night .

REQUIRED TO INQUIRE

Welcome to the Month of March! We cannot thank the Almighty enough , this indeed is a work and a walk of Grace….pure, undiluted and Amazing Grace .

You will need to excuse and allow me to sound “churchy” today, which BTW is Sunday but also because the issue of concern which i will talk about involves the church , i promise however that it will be a good Read , so here we go.

I actually picked up my Bible today to read the historical story of how Jehoshaphat , the King of Judah, after inquiring from Jehovah , went to war with the praise singers , marching in front of the Army….then my eye caught this story and i began to think …and here we are ..LOL!

2 Chronicles 18.. Jehoshaphat had everything going for him, wealth, health , fame…life was good . He had a kinda collabo with the king of Israel, Ahab, the MSG translation of the Bible calls it “marriage alliance’.. what is mine is yours , who i am you are , what I’ll be you’ll be ! Verse 2 says but Ahab had a hidden agenda … chaiii…honestly in my short life , and i am very very young ..hehe, no creature terrifies me like the human being . I am not as terrified of demons , ojuju , mad dogs as i am of “man”..because NO ONE, knows a man except his spirit. I mean, here was Jehoshaphat, plain and simple minded , making a marriage alliance with someone that had a “hidden agenda “!!!! wow! always remember this NOTHING BUILT ON LIES IS BUILT TO LAST ..its always a matter of time.

Ahab wanted to go to war and asked jehosh, who of cause  agreed to go with him , after all there is a drawn contract, covenant .

He only asked for one thing ,LET US INQUIRE FROM THE LORD

The king of Israel gathered 400 prophets together, do you know that until today i assumed they were prophets of Baal? after all its the same Ahab abi? but it dawned on me if they were not prophets of Jehovah, the Bible would have said so, someone says ” but these are obviously false prophets ” , yessss, the bible also calls Balaam, the prophet of Jehovah, a false prophet …..tor!

anyway, the prophs ALL agreed ” go and kill ’em sayeth the Lord , Victoria ascertia !”…hmmm

Jehoshaphat wasn’t comfy , so he asked ” is there another prophet of Jehovah (so it means the 400 were prophets of Jehovah )? lets go for a second opinion .

verse 10 says ” All the prophets were staging a PROPHECY-PERFORMANCE for their BENEFIT.

the messenger from the king told Micah , All the others have agreed so say same thing  .. Let me be honest here, stories have been flying around that cash has been transferred to Men of God concerning the month of March , there is no evidence that I am aware of , but if it is true..NO BE TODAY OOOO… it happened with Balaam, it happened with these prophets . the Good book according to the Bible is God’s word to us for instruction, information IN OTHER WORDS , This scripture that we have just read  is not a disney story…it happened , it is happening ,it will still happen ….to be continued.

 

 

 

 

THE WAITING ROOM

When I think about what goes on in the mind of the man who sits in the waiting room ,for the cry of the baby he is yet to see and the news that his wife is alive and well , I cant but conclude that we have a lot of ” brave hearts ” out there. Is it the battle with terrible thoughts of “what if ” ..the constant staring at the Clock whose second hand seems immobile ? what i think makes waiting horrifying is that you are not absolutely sure what the outcome will be.

This age which i will refer to as the “instant ” age, has experienced innovations in leaps and bounds , we now have instant coffee, instant noodles, instant access to information , microwave cooking ..Dare we forget the good old days of letter writing , when we will write letters to our parents and wait for 2 weeks before we get the reply..now that can be done in an instant ! ping dad and even if he is in a meeting …u will get an “hey kid wassup ?”…instant is good , technology ,great , BUT this has affected immensely our ability to wait.

The good book tells us about people who had to wait ….for the promise that the Almighty made to them . Abraham had been promised that he will be the father of many nations ,the promise was made to Abraham when he was 75, the promise did not actualize till he was 100? What about David ? He was anointed king and had to wait well over 10 years to sit on the throne ;after several attempts on His life , we wont even talk about the time he had to live with Goliath’s people in order to be in safety ( no wonder he said he prepares a table in the presence of my enemies..LOL!!)…if i were Dave, honestly at that point in time , the Almighty had berra be talking ooo..hehe.

What about the dreamer ? he had a dream, he had yet another dream…but there was no dream about Joseph being betrayed by his brothers, Potiphar’s wife wrongly accusing him , what about all those years he spent in prison , for what he didn’t do ? MW when Pharaoh declared that all must bow to Joseph after he was made governor , Potiphar was still in office , so he had to bow too…the question is why didn’t Joseph take his revenge then ? could it be BECAUSE OF WHAT HE LEARNED IN THE WAITING ROOM. David wrote most of his psalms…that have laid foundation for  majority of praise / worship songs today , in the waiting room. The waiting room can be what it should be, the shaping room , where character is shaped , while you wait .

 

There is this Calabar girl I know..i call her DJ El-Soupin…when she cooks soup…wow…. But she can spend hours on end cooking the soup, and sometimes i find the wait quite frustrating …HOWEVER,when it is ready and I am sitting right in front of a bowl of her soup, finger-licking, i know without doubt that it was worth the wait ….

“Wait for the Lord ; be of good courage , and He will strengthen your heart ; wait I say on the Lord 27:13

OF THE “SAINT” AND “SCENT”

There are very few things that i really love. I know that the average woman loves jewellery , that will probably mean that i am not the average woman . I love bags though … in fact i will rather buy a bag than a set of “gold” ! imagine ! dont bother i have heard all points raised in defence of “gold” ..u can always sell it when you get tired of it , my friends say …BUT …I love bags.

Another love i have is PERFUMES… if i ever have to go window shopping , a vice that i loathe. i will end up in the perfume section , collecting samples … i love perfumes. my sister in law introduced me to perfume by “Narciso Rodriguez ” WOWWWWW….strong , beautiful, captivating …every time i wear it , i get people ask “what are you wearing ?”..

.it has a powerful way of staying behind even after the wearer has “left the building”….i brought out a dress today , had not worn it for ages…I sniffed …hmmm…this dress had worn Narciso at some time ,OBVIOUSLY,….soooo…sunday morning ..u hop out of bed…HIS bed…(you see he had been” putting a ring in it” ,BUT its ” okay,U figure ,he will put a ring on it …SOMEDAY”…anywayss…u hop outta…quick bath…head to Church….so happens u r the CHOIR LEADER …….WORSHIP?awesome….the Spirit was present as USUAL….to save, to heal to deliver …..YOU FEEL GUD ….THE ANOINTING IS HERE …” God must be pleased “, U try to convince urself …..hmmm…Narciso Rodriguez…strong fragrance…even after it has ” left the building”….

MUD SLINGING

i heard a story a few years back about a fiery preacher , who was told  by the powers that be ,to ” stay away from politics or we will sling mud on you “…to which he replied ” my mama told me when i was a little boy that if people sling mud on you, never try to shake it off , that will create a mess,let it dry up, it will fall off by itself !”LOL

i have learned a lot from this phrase. when people call you names and spread rumors about you or your loved ones, its futile to try and defend yourself. Madea says its NOT WHAT PEOPLE CALL YOU BUT WHAT YOU ANSWER TO…

so they say stuff about your race, tongue , tribe , RELIGIOUS beliefs , POLITICAL affiliations…..u cant fight back  and WIN…in fact don’t bother … chances are they are already set in their ways and will not open up to reason.

I remember the rage i felt when Jesus Christ was depicted as having has an affair with one of his disciples, or a secret affair with with a female follower that led to the birth of a baby !!! oga ! and this secret was hidden for 2000 years ? between you and I , HOW MANY SECRETS HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO HIDE IN YOUR LIFETIME ??? HEHE! nothing is hidden under the sun…BUT  ….

YOU  KNOW WHO U R AND IN WHOM U HAVE BELIEVED ….everyone is entitled to their opinions and their views should NOT change or affect you …….MAY THE FAMILIES OF THE VICTIMS OF THE TERRORIST ATTACK IN PARIS FIND PEACE..

THE ELECTORATE CALLED ESAU

Right from childhood , i have found the story of Esau difficult to comprehend . Here is a hard working hairy twin of a “wayoric” brother .  Despite the fact that they are twins Culture only recognized the first child as heir . Esau knew this , he wasn’t drugged or drunk. He had his senses intact . I will like to assume that he had breakfast before going to “work “.. he returned home hungry …asked his twin for food …who demanded for his birthright …to which he replied “of what use will it be if i die ?”..so he sold his birthright for a plate of pottage . Kinda what the bank will do abi ? you borrow some money , hand over collateral which is ALWAYS way more than your request and once you cannot pay within the stipulated time frame , you might loose your collateral.

Anyway so he eats his meal and walks away to mind his business. Abeg who dies from a day’s hunger ? Esau’s hunger was obviously overrated… the bible refers to him as a “fornicator ” …yes for ” a moments pleasure “…buy now pay later …

Elections begin February 2015 …all and any party will entice the electorate with material things ..food, clothing , money , electronics, houses, jobs …what is interesting about these offers is that like Esau’s porridge , its of no ETERNAL CONSEQUENCE . in other words they are PERISHABLES. And because of what you will eat today and shit tomorrow dont vote against your conscience … its not about you , your vote is also for the seed in your loins … Esau sort for amends with tears the bible says , he didn’t find ..” e ma gbe ounje ale yin je fun ologbo “…do not give ur dinner to the cat ….vote wisely !

EXPENSIVE CHRISTMAS

Homo sapien….the creature , according to biology , with the most sophisticated ( and complicated ?) personality … compared to other “animals” they are set apart , even science agrees on this. I think the Nigerian is set apart too , when compared to other Humans ..LOL!

the desire for competition and to “show off ” is so deep seated in our persona , sometimes i wonder whether we are just “genetically composed ” to be materialistic or whether this is the generational effect of colonial oppression ……hmmm…

By the time December takes its place on the calenders ..the market becomes busy ..people begin to shop…buy at most times beyond their means , why do we insist on buying new clothes on our birthday ? i guess its because it ia our special day and that seperates us from our friends and relatives . So why do we have to buy clothes on some else’s birthday ?( Christmas is celebrating Jesus’ birthday , abi ?) . Why do we have to borrow money to do this ? For most people it’s because their ” neighbors” have bought ..so its kinda like ” keeping up with the Joneses” but at what expense. we buy gifts for children that we cant afford , buy now pay later , more like buy now and never stop paying .

Today is boxing day , reality sets in …a number of us will be entering the New year in debt but “believe” God to do some miracle ??? when we satisfy a pressing desire at the expense of our future , we become like the biblical Esau who sold his birthright for a plate of food. We must learn to live within our means and be “CONTENT” for “WE BROUGHT NOTHING TO THE WORLD AND IT IS CERTAIN WE WILL TAKE NOTHING OUT “. IMG_1298

Eyes on the House-help

The video has basically gone viral, lots of people have viewed it , been enraged by it , expressed unprintable opinions of it …. you cant help but wonder if this is human or demon?? I shudder to think of incidences not captured by the cameras…poor child. which brings up the question ” who is a house-help?”, what age is required for this “profession”, what is the difference between a house-help and nanny?

A house-help , at least as the name implies is someone who ASSISTS in the household chores in a house. This I believe is a common occurrence when both parents have “9-5” jobs and therefore , it becomes difficult to do the daily chores as required at home . here in Nigeria work does not start at 9 …its 7-8 in most places and depending on the area of residence there are people who leave the house at 4:00a.m. in other to get to work on time and dont get back home till 10:00p.m. due to traffic . Cleaning up, laundry etc will be an impossible task for women who find themselves in this situation . so people are employed to assist in doing these things .

I am personally appalled though, that any literate will employ a person of school age to do this without an access to Education.  This happens everywhere in Nigeria….while their own children go to school…hmmm… I do not think a child is psychologically mature enough to ASSIST in a duty meant for the home maker … i therefore suggest that a house help should be at least an adult (an adult being as described in the Constitution )

A Nanny is someone whose job requirements involves taking care of children . A minor should not be a Nanny …(for obvious reasons ).

I think life is about making choices …every moment ..and the choices we make also has responsibilities strung alongside …we become responsible for the choices made. economics teaches us about opportunity cost . that’s the life we live o.

there is no law that says you must have kids once you marry …DON’T LET SOCIETY RUIN YOUR LIFE ….if you are not ready to have kids …then DONT… you need to count the cost …the “family members” harassing you now will not be there for you when you need someone to “fill up the space” .

You might have to live life for a while on a lower social status while raising your kids , this is where opportunity cost comes to play ..IF YOU HAVE TO PAY SOMEONE TO HELP YOU RAISE YOUR CHILDREN , YOU PROBABLY CAN’T AFFORD TO HAVE KIDS YET AND SHOULDN’T . The opportunity cost of staying at home with your children and selling provision outside your home might be the position of bank manager …..you need to make your choice and carry the tagged responsibility…when we started having children,I bought chairs, tables and canopies and started a rental outfit  and i had family living with us, some in school some working …but i had promised myself that except i am out of town, my face must be the first my children see when they come back from school…by the way, i have a Bachelors in Pharmacy . i did that until my sons were 5 …at that age i can hear EVERYTHING…and believe me,they tell …LOL!!!

Please take time to  discuss with your spouse before you start a family . and if you already have a family and some teenage “village boy or girl” as your “househelp/nanny” do the needful ooooo…obedience is better than sacrifice!